Developing sturdiness when the path you want to take is not ‘the norm’

sturdy Tree

We are all different and unique, we are all individuals yet in this world it is really hard to be individual. It is really hard to walk your own path make your own decisions, without feeling you are the odd one out. 

There is so much pressure on us all to conform. So much pressure on us all to fit in.

Fit in to wearing the right thing or doing the socially acceptable thing

Fit in to what we do with our spare time, 

Fit in to what we say 

Fitting in is what is expected. It’s not openly spoken about but there is an expectation.

And in motherhood, I feel that pressure to conform strongly. Decisions day in day out I feel butt up against my values on who I choose to be in this world and how I want to bring up my children. 

Standing strong when it goes against the ‘norm’ is super hard. Not only do you feel you are being a ‘bad’ parent not giving in, but you feel the pressure from the other parents (unseen but felt pressure) to conform as well.

But just because it is what’s done doesn’t mean it’s what should be done. This world will never change if we don’t be the change. This world will never evolve if we don’t make different choices. There always needs to be someone who has to do things first to do things differently to inspire others to courageously take that road as well.

Ways I support myself in the path of being different

Inner connection is key

Develop a strong connection to my inner compass and what I feel is the path I want to follow, this I do with daily quiet time to connect into my inner world so I can listen to the whisperings of my soul

Does this Decision take me closer to who I want to become? 

When I feel the pressure to choose another choice, I take in the information around me, I listen to what is being asked or what is being done and I connect into a question such as ‘does this take me towards where I want to be, or further away?’ I listen to the nudges that show up.

Ask for signs- know you are always supported 

I ask for help and support from my spiritual support team and listen for signs. This can appear in our lives as signs, images, songs that pop into our heads, be open to what comes up for you and be aware of the need to want to dismiss it as just a coincidence.

Ground yourself 

I ground myself , I take a few breaths I connect in with my body and imagine my body growing roots down to mother earth and connecting into wisdom of Mother Earth. 

Be gentle with you- Compassion and kindness

I bring self compassion in, I watch with love the need for myself to conform and I hold that younger part of me with love and kindness.

I remind myself that no decision is set in stone and that making the decision today is ok

I connect into my north star- being who I am here to be regardless of what people see me as. 

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